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UNITED STATES OP AMEEICA. 



"SOME OTHER DAY. 



JJ 



"SOriE OTHER DAY" 



A FARCE IN ONE ACT 



BY 

WILUAM NICHOLSON 



A CoivORKD SOCIKTY SKETCH, WITH THE ORIGINAL CasT 

OF Characters, Time of Representation, De- 
scription OF THE Costumes. Scene and 
Property Plots, Entrances, 
Exits, etc. 



Copyrighted 1894, by VVm. Nicholson. 
(All rights reserved ) 



( 



rr/ifi^^ -2- 



CORNING, N. Y. 
PUBLISHED BY THE AUTHOR. 



^'" A^ 









TO THE 

MINSTRELS AND MEMBERS 

OF THE 

ALLIANCE HOOK & LADDER CO., 

CORNING, N. Y., 

THIS 

RELAPSE IN ONE AGONY 

IS AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED, BY 







SOME OTHER DAY/' 



CAST OF CHARACTERS. 



( With the original cast as played at the Opera House, Coaming, N. Y.)' 



Rkv. Timothy Tugmutton, {the Groom,) 
Magnoi^ia Ravrn, [the Lover,) 
vSoivOMON CivOUD, {the Friend, ) 
lyEANDKR Brush, {the Artist,) 
Patrick DudkIvKT, {the Servant,) 
BEI.INDA vSteinbacher, {the Cousifi,} 
L11.Y Day, {the Bride,) 



Mr. G. F. Kinsella. 
Mr. O. M. Rothfus. 
Mr. F. J. Saxton. 
Mr. C. K. Minor, Jr. 
Mr. F. E. Sharp. 
Mr. W. R. Brown. 
Mr. Wm. Nicholson. 



Time of Representation— Twenty Minutes. 



One Scene— At Vai.i.ey Cottage. 



SOME OTHER DAY: 



COSTUMES, ETC. 

TuGMUTTON. — Old man. Lame. Black trousers, close fit. Cleri- 
cal coat, collar, etc. Hickory cane. 

Raven.— Fashionable gent. Striped trousers. I^ight overcoat. Red 
necktie. vSilk hat. Gloves. Patent leather .shoes. Cigars in vest 
pocket. 

CivOUD. — Tennis suit. Striped blouse, dark blue. Racket. 

Brush. — Light trousers. Artist's jacket. Roll collar. Pale blue 
necktie. Eye glass. 

Patrick.— Grey livery. 

Bei^inda. — Tennis costume and cap, light blue trimmings. 

Ivii^Y. — White dress, etc., red trimmings. 

Black face throughout. 



PROPERTIES. 

Breakfast outfit (all dry), including biscuits, loaf of bread, oranges, 
watermelon, loving cup, water bottle, and table bell. 

Two large razors for Patrick and Tugmutton. 

One broom for dance. Patrick. 

One dirk and two cigars for Raven. 

One book, quarto, for Belinda. 

One easel, artist's kit, picture of cottage, and stool with detachable 
leg, pipe, matches, and eye glass, for Brush. 

Three branches, one for dance, Solomon, one stuffed one for \JAy. 

One tennis racket for Solomon. 

One swing, as per scene plot. Cushion on end of settee (L). 



SOME OTHER DAY. 



SCENE PLOT. 

Wood scene backing. 



Wall 4/1. high. 



ff 



Swing. 



Easel and picture. 
Stool. 



Right. 



^. 



'^""^yh 



*jy 



'^^^/^ 



JO/' 



Orchestra. 



Cottage. 



Tree 



ranchi 



Branches. 



Left. 



SOME OTHER DAY." 



(BeTvINDA seated on zvall up k. c. teading; Patrick arranging 
breakfast table; Brush seated i E. R. painting picture of cottage in 
4 E. L. and whistling to zvhich Patrick dances a step or two. ^ 

Belinda {looking up from book.) Why, Patrick, good morning. 

Patrick. Mornin'. 

Bei*. On such a glorious morning six years ago — you remember it ; 
blue was the sky, bright the sun, and over everything prevailed the 
sweet spirit of an heavenly peace. It was — 

Pat. Oh yes ; oh ! me, oh my, oh ! ta ra-ra ! 

Bel. Patrick Dudelet, on this day six years ago, my cousin, poor 
Lily Day, was to have been married. 

Pat. {dropping a dish on the floor.) By Jumpin', Jimmie Johnson, 
— sure's yer born, the ditto day. If I ever set eyes on that ebony 
devil, Mister Magnolia Raveti, well — [sweeps razor.) 

Enter Solomon Cloud, 2 e. l. 

Bel. Ah ! there's Mr. Cloud. 

Solomon. I've been hunting for you, Belinda, all over the hp-hp- 
place, and there you are, beaming like a hp-p-ray of sunshine into 
the heart of this dark Cloud. 

Pat*, {aside.) Cheap at twenty cents a pound. 

Sol. Eh ? 

Pat. Taffy. 

Sol. {pointing to Belinda's book.) " And so they were married ? " 

Bel. Not yet. I've only reached the third chapter. 

Sol. What is it? " In Darkest Africa," " How to be Happy, 'tho 
Married," hp-hp-" Letters from Hell," or worse yet, "American 
Leads," hp-hp — 

Bel. Wait a minute. This is, as you know, Lily's wedding day- 
second edition. 



8 ''SOME OTHER DAY:' 

Pat. [aside.) Bet you fifty, she eats breakfast before the ceremony 
this time. 
Soi.. {to Bel.) The " second edition," what do you mean ? 
Bel. Six years ago to-day, Lily and Mr. Raven were to have been 
married. The day came, the day went, the wedding did neither. 
Sol. The groom ? 

Bel. Stayed away. From that day to this she has not seen him ; 
he has not even sent her a word, unless it be this book, which she re- 
ceived on that miserable morning {getting down.) The inscription 
tells the story {sits, settee, r. ) 

Sol. {looking at back title.) " An Exile in the Land of Nowhere," 
hp-hp-so he skipped to ***** * 

Bel. No, no ! Read the inscription, not the title. 
vSoL- {sits beside Bel., reads.) 

To Lily from M. R. 
My life, my all, even heaven away, 
Bel. Has no such soul as thine, 

Sol. And yet on this our wedding day, 

Bel. I cannot call thee mine ; 

Still with this hope I go, — 
Sol. Hearts torn apart, tho' far astray, 

(^«/?^r TuGMUTTON,y>-6>m cottage.) 
Bel. May meet again some other day. 

vSoL. {both going towards c.) I wish {stealing his arm around her) 
to-day was our some other day. {Exit C. and R, ) 

TuGMUTTON {warmly.) " Some other day " — five times this morn- 
ing have I heard that phrase. Its uncanny. It begins to sound 
wierdly prophetic {Going over to '^^\3?,Vi..) Still at it, Mr. Brush? 

Brush. Yas, Mr. Tugmutton, still at it. 

Tug. But isn't it good ; so like her home. It will make a pretty 
little gift for my pretty little bride. Will it be finished in time ? 

Brush {languidly). I rather think so. I require an extra tube to 
bring out my high lights. * * * * has ordered and promised it. 
[ am inclined to the opinion it will be here in season,— if not to-day, 
some — 



''SOME OTHER DAYr 9 

Tug. {shaking him fiercely.) Don't say it, you, you — {Exit en- 
raged I E. iv. Enter Pat. i k. r.) 

Pat. {stopping at picture. ) Jimminy, ain*t that slick ! 

Brush. Say, my man, who is that blasted old duffer — Tugmuttou — 
the man with the hickory stick and the prohibition leg? 

Pat. Why. Who. He— that's the Reverend Timothy. He's 
from the north — a parson without a church or a cent, I'll bet. 

Brush. But I've painted this picture on his order — ah — it behooves 
me — no pay, no picture. Yas. Have you heard him preach ? 

Pat. Nail ! That reverend coon can't preach any more than Col. 
White's old army mule could sing " Sweet Tra-lee. " 

Brush. I imagine if he ever had a congregation it was more sport- 
ive than religious — one of the kind before which they never read the 
Book of the Apostles for fear the members would skip out between 
the Acts. 

Pat. He came down here, talked taffy-to-lu to Miss Day, is going 
to marry {goes up) and take her away unless I electro^?// him before 
many moons. {Beckoning to Brush and pointing c. and r.) 

Brush. Ah, yas, that's her — the captive maiden, {Goes hack.) 

Pat. And a captivatin' gal she am. {Goes to table. ) 

Music. 
Enter LiLivV at c. ft^om r. 

Appropriate song and dance by Lily. Special dance in the chorus 
/<9r Brush, Patrick, Tugmutton, Bei^inda rt;«^ Solomon. At last 
chorus all exit except Tug. and Lily. ) 

Tug. {leafiing on cane.) And now we are alone. Lily dear, this 
day will soon be to us a blessed memory, — and you will come to me 
— heart, soul, all ? 

IviLY. All ! {Swings and knocks him over, exits quickly 2 e. l.) 

Tug. {sitting on floor.) How happy she is. Gone ! I'll find her. 
{Exit c. and r. Enter Lily i e. l. ) 

Lily. And now /am alone. Alone? No, for with me ever is my 
other self, — that inner self yearning for one I shall never see again. 
Smiles without, tears within. This is the day of my— funeral ; before 
the sun sets I shall be forced by a relentless papa to marry a man I 



I o " SOME O THER DAYr 

can never love. {Sits, settee i E. L.) Six years, only six years ago, 
aye, with Armande Cbandoce I can say, 

" I have another life I long to meet, 
Without {enter Raven q.. from l.) which life my life is incomplete. 
Oh, sweeter self! like me art thou astray, 
Trying with all thy heart to find the way 

To mine ? 
Straying like mine, to find the breast 
On which alone can weary heart find rest."^ 
Raven {behind settee). 

Hearts torn apart tho' far astray 
May meet again some other day. 

Ivii^Y. Some other day— the words— the voice— oh, no L 

Raven (c). Oh, yes. 

L11.Y. Nolia, {embrace). 

Raven. Together again. 

Lily. No, parted — forever. Let me go.. 

'Kh.M^^ {releasing her). Forever? 

IviivY. Yes. 

Raven. Never, Never ! I've come to ex— 

Lily. It's too late. 

Rwen. But I can explain— {Enter TvG. 3 E. L.) 

Tug. Gracious, what a chase I — 

Raven. Get out of here. 

Lily. Mr. Raven, this is the Rev. Timothy Tugmutton. I marrj 
him this morning. 

Raven. What ! — marry — this morning, and to this, this apostro- 
phe. Nonsense ; I will kill him first. {Approaches TuG. who runs up 
c. as Brush, Bel- and Sol. enter. Belinda bows coldly to Raven. 

Brush {carrying picture framed). My dear Raven, you are the 
last crow I expected to find {grasps his hand and goes to easef) here. 
What in thunder brings you to Valley Cottage ? 

Raven {seated on artist's stool). Then it's true ? 

Brush. Oh, yas — this morning. Here is one of the groom's pres- 
ents {looks at picture, Raven does not). Cheer up, old chappie {takes 



''SOME OTHER day:' ii 

two cigars out of Raven's pocket). Let's smoke. Come. [Exit r 

LiivY. I shall invite him to stay. Tinimy love, and you too Solo- 
mon, go, bring him back. {Exit Soi^. followed by Tug. 2 e. r.) 

BEiy. I would not ask a man to my wedding who had jilted me. 

IviLY. Don't be foolish, cousin. 

Bel,. Have it your own way, dear. 

Pat. Well, Miss Lily, breakfast all ready. Don't remember to 
forget we have got to be at the old church by five minutes to eleven. 
Your old father has gone over there now. {Exit in cottage. Enter 
Raven with SoCv. and Brush behind i e. R.) 

Raven. Lily, I have come to wish you well. 

LiivY. You will stay? {Enter Tvo. 2 E. R.) Say yes. 

Raven. Yes. 

Pat. Time's up. 

Bei.. Come gentlemen ; the bride here (/), Mr. Brush there {2), 
Mr. Raven yonder (j), Mr. Cloud {points to 4), here the unfortunate 
(5), and on this (<5) will Belinda rest. 



Tabi,e Positions. 



Lily. Where could we find a better banquet hall ? 
Sol. So roomy. 
Tug. Perfect ventilation. 

Bel. And right jolly for a wedding breakfast. 

Brush. Yas, but what a devilish idea this eating first and marry- 
ing afterward. 
Raven. Fool. 



12 ''SOME OTHER DAY:' 

Soiv. Shut up. (Brush rises. Lily makes him sit down. Bei<. 
whispers to TuG. ) 

Tug. Capital. {Strikes the bell, enter Pat.) The cup. {Exit 
Pat.) Miss Steinbacher proposes a toast {enter Pat. with loving cup) 
from each one. Lily {hands her the cup). 

Lily {rising). I drink to the man I wed (TuG. throws a kiss) and 
the one I love d-earest of all {drinks). 

Soiy. I {rising and bow- ( Of course. 

Brush.] ing together.) | Oh, thanks. 

Bel. Now, one from me. Here's to the cup that inspires and the 
pipe whose " clouds all other Clouds dispel." 

All. Oh ! 

Sol. I toast the Mutton on the hills, the Lily of the valley, hp-hp- 
the Raven of the woods and lunatics; the Brush hp-hp- who paints 
"the shadows ere the substance fade," and hp-hp- {looking at BEL.) 
the sweetest hp-hp- the hp-hp-hp-hp- drinks. 

Brush. Hip, hip — 

Tug. Hooray. (Soi.. hits Brush with biscuits and Tug. 07i head 
with watermelon.) 

Ravkn. I pledge all sulphurdom to the ass who said "'tis better 
to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." 

Brush. Well,— one, to our meeting again some other day. (TuG, 
throws loaf of bread, etc, at him. Lily interferes. ) 

Pat. {aside, taking cup away). Here's to what's left ! 

Raven. Do not forget, gentlemen, that there are ladies present. 

Brush {behind Tvo. knocks him over). Have one with me to-day. 
{ Goes to easel. ) ' 

Bel. {leaves table). I am thoroughly disgusted. {Sits in szving . 
Enter Pat. ) 

Pat. {placing dishes before Lily, discovers Raven, draws razor, 
fights. Sol. and TuG. try to separate them. Bel. swings, knocks 
Pat. over, swings back, knocks over Brush, picture, etc. Brush pulls 
leg out of stool. ) 

Bel. {shouts). Police, Mother, Mother. (Tug. and Brush engage 
forced to table 3. ) 



''SOME OTHER DAY:' 13 

Ivii^Y {to Bel.)- Run for the neighbors, that way, I'll go this. 
{Exit BeIv. 2 e. Iv., IvII.y I E. R. Raven forces Pat. to table (5). 

Tug. I'll some-other-day you, you miserable cur. {Enter BEiy. 2 
E. L.) 

Bei.. Nobody in. Oh, dear {helps Soi.. Enter \A\7i i E. R,) 

Lii«Y {picking up branch, jumps on chair /, upon table, takes a hand 
in general, table upsets, dishes break, lyiivY falls off and over Brush 
and Tug. at i, Bkl^ind a faints, Sol. drags her down, pours water over 
her face. ) 

Brush {crawling down stage at ^. c). I've killed the old sheep;. 
he won't marry that Day, this day — {falls back). 

Soiy. Hp-hp- nor some other day. {Quick curtain.) 



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